H4 Visa - Perils of Being a Dependent
This post is by my friend who is in US for the last three years in H4 visa.
It was marriage time for me and as any normal girl I was in a state of complete excitement. I was excited about meeting my future husband who is working was in US, whom I have never seen before (engagement was done in his absence), about the marriage function as a whole, meeting all my relatives, the new dresses and ornaments I could wear for the marriage – the list is endless. My fiancée used to call me daily over phone and we talked for hours. In those talks he used to tell about the visa and all those procedures I really never cared to understand. My thinking was that whatever be the visa or how you apply, my life is going to be the same or much better as I was going to US the so called “land of opportunities”.
The complexity of this H4 visa stuck me first before I went to the
I landed in US after a fortnight of marriage. My mother has given me lot of advice of how to be a good wife and one of the advices was to cook good food for the husband “daily”. For me, having never done any cooking in
This was when one of my friends introduced me to the world of Google. She told me that there are websites that are exclusively for cooking and I started using those to cook like www.bawarchi.com Again I started using other applications of Google like orkut and Youtube thus killing my time. Thus Google became my most trusted companion and I am sure most of those who are in US in H4 visa will agree to that. I just cannot imagine how all I could have spend a day without watching videos in YouTube or logging into Orkut or Facebook or browsing in general.
Within a week a harsh reality struck me – as long as I am in H4 visa I cannot work at all. Yes, my husband has told that to me before marriage but being a housewife in
I had a very good job before marriage and that had made me financially independent. Now the worst thing – has to dependent on husband financially for each and everything. I used to get ecstatic even going to shopping in the beginning. I hesitated to buy certain stuff because I felt that I was troubling my husband by picking some expensive stuff. The thought of financial dependence made be pick up the cheapest thing in the store for me even if my husband was ready to buy me something different.
My husband on the other hand was always busy. He was a “sportsaholic”. He watches almost all the games. He watches NFL, College football, NBA, cricket and plays cricket during the weekends. On top of it he watches most of the TV shows. He enjoys going out for football matches and hanging out with friends during weekend. During those initial days I hated watching those football games in TV.
Life was becoming so one dimensional and boring. Getting up in the morning, cooking something, browsing for sometime, waiting for the husband, occasional shopping and then have dinner and go to bed. After few months I realized that this monotonous life will take me no where and decided to change.
I started following the games my husband used to watch and within no time become a huge fan of NFL. I started going out with my husband to parties and started making lot of friends. I learned driving and now I can go anywhere I want without depending on my husband. I have become an excellent cook, that stuff that used to take me more than two hours to cook initially; I could cook in less than thirty minutes. I joined the dance class here and took part in various cultural events. Except for the financial freedom, I enjoyed everything in my life now in US which was not the case even 1 year back. Email This Post
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