Friday, March 23, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: International Cricket Corporation (ICC) listed in NASDAQ!

March 22, 2025, New York: International Cricket Corporation (ICC) was officially listed in NASDAQ today. ICC whose income is mainly by "selling" game of cricket is the largest corporation of this kind in the world. ICC is already listed in almost all other major stock exchanges in the world.

Scene 1: New York, USA.

In the press conference in Washington to mark his corporation being listed in NASDAQ, ICC President Mr. MS spoke about the bright future of his company. According to him, “Our Corporation is expanding at a rapid pace and our profit the first quarter of this year will be more than 300% more than the same quarter previous year. We pride in spreading the game of cricket through out the world. As part of our expansion we are planning to have a corporate office opened in US. This corporate office will oversee the 5 cricket matches to be held between India and Pakistan in US in May. President’s of Indian and Pakistan units of ICC are meeting tomorrow in Mumbai to finalize about these games”.

Scene 2: ICC’s India headquarters: Mumbai
Meeting between Indian ICC president Mr. SP and his Pakistani counterpart Mr. PM just started. Agenda of the meeting: - Decide the venues of the Indo-Pak matches to be held in US and to finalize the minimum bid for granting broadcasting rights of those matches.

After exchanging pleasantries, both parties got into serious business. Indian ICC President asked his Vice President Mr. X to suggest few venues for the India-Pakistan matches based on their research. Mr. X tells, “We have good stadiums in Chicago, Austin and Phoenix. We can have 5 matches in these 3 venues with 2 venues having 2 matches each….” Before Mr. X could complete the Pakistan ICC President interrupts him.

Pak ICC President, “We prefer to have in Florida, Los Angeles, New York, Denver and San Diego. The whole Pakistan ICC team wants to accompany the team with their family and these are their preferred places. We don’t want to spend time in a desert like Phoenix”.

For this the Indian Vice-President replies, “ Sir, we don’t have grounds big enough for cricket in any of these cities. We only have NFL grounds there that are very small. They are only 100 yards long in one direction and half of that in the other direction”.

Hearing this both Indian and Pakistani ICC Presidents were delighted. Indian ICC President delightfully made his stance clear, “we should hold maximum number of matches in the smallest possible grounds. There will be a run feast, which will make every one happy. If any of the Indian or Pakistani players are out of form with bat they can use these matches to come back to form. This will help us commercially in the long run.”

His Pakistani counterpart just heard what he wanted to hear. Now it is his turn to talk, “This is exactly what we want. So go ahead and book those stadiums. If we have 2 NFL stadiums in the same place, book the stadium with less playing area and maximum seating capacity.”

ICC Indian President authorizes his media manager to let the whole world know that India is going to play Pakistan in 5 different places in US at NFL stadiums.

Now the ICC Presidents move to the second thing in their agenda – finalizing the guarantee money for issuing broadcasting rights for these 5 matches. The Indian ICC President asked his financial officer to present his findings.

Finance Officer, “ICC corporate office in Abu Dhabi has asked Indian and Pakistan boards to donate 50 million US dollars to start new offices in Ethiopia, Uganda and Antarctica. Another 100 million has to be raised for buying 10 airplanes for ICC so that ICC members don’t have to fly in commercial airplanes. Based on all of this, I propose that we should have minimum guarantee money as 300 million US dollars as guarantee money for broadcasting rights.”

Now Pakistani Finance Minister stood up with a question “Can we realistically raise so much money?”

For this both Indian and Pakistani Presidents of ICC reply in one tone “Don’t worry about that. Marketing will do the trick for us. We should project this as a war between India and Pakistan. This will raise the patriotic feelings of the people of both countries. Passion will run high and life in both countries will become standstill during those matches. Media secretaries of both countries will work with professional groups/sponsors to bring out videos to ignite passion of common people of both countries”.

Every one present there seems to be happy and the meeting gets adjourned. The news comes out that India is going to play Pakistan in US this March. ICC’s stock prices increase over night. Investors are happy, administrators of ICC are happy, common people are happy as they think they are about to see a war between India and Pakistan to be fought in US soil, sponsors are happy. It seems as though everyone is a Winner in this deal except one loser and


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Blogger silverine said...

"It seems as though everyone is a Winner in this deal except one loser and that is the game of cricket!"

That just about sums up everything so neatly.And the Bob Woolmer death just underlines the whole sordid mess!!

March 23, 2007 5:34 PM  
Blogger raghu said...

It seems as though everyone is a Winner in this deal except one loser and that is the game of cricket!"

Magnificent..AS already stipulated by another person, this sums up the issues once for all.

March 24, 2007 11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont know much about cricket. but your verdict has brought home the right point at the right time.

March 26, 2007 5:54 PM  
Blogger Brijesh said...

Let us hope that India's exit from WC will help reform Indian cricket

March 27, 2007 2:11 AM  

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